15 August 06

Attaining the Mass of a Human Head

It is with great pleasure that I am able to relate the findings from my latest scientific endeavor. I have devised and implemented a method most ingenious of attaining the mass of a human head without great expense or undue harm or discomfort to the contributing subject. Being as the subject was in fact, myself, it was necessary that the subject retain consciousness, functionality and indeed life itself during the conduction of this exploration.

Using only the simplest of lab supplies: one large cooking pot - a light aluminum variety, though the material is inconsequential in this case, two gallons of tap-water (warmed comfortably), a metric graduated ruler of suitable accuracy, one dinner fork, and a towel I conducted the experiment myself.

The procedure was as follows: Fill the large pot with water, preferably in a place which can tolerate spillage of water, in my case I used the bathing basin in my latrine, clean to the brim. If need be stabilize the pot with the fork such that it will not rock and disrupt the measurements. Now with the pot full and level such that there was no meniscus I removed the subject's shirt, tidiness and cleanliness being a virtue I embody, and inserted said subject's head into the water until all of it was underwater save the neck. I then removed the subject's head from said pot and measured the displaced water.

The height from the top of the water to the top of the pot was 9.6cm and the diameter of the pot was 25.1cm and apparently even all the way to the bottom. I calculated the volume of water displaced to be equal to 4750.2cm^3 or 4.7502liters. The mass of water having an equivalence of one liter to one kilogram, and making the assumption that a human head has an equal mass to that of the water it displaces, a fair assumption I believe from my experiences swimming previously, I deduce a human head to weigh 4.75kilograms. In English units that is 10.47 pounds.

Should you have any other inquiry into this matter please don't hesitate to contact me via the swiftest means you feel appropriate.

My Dear Reader,

As I failed to document this experiment photographically durring the original execution of it, I am hoping to re-enact the science and photograph said actions. As promptly as possible I shall include these staged photos in this report for your enjoyment.